NaNoWriMo
It’s been many years since I’ve tried this out, and I don’t think I’ll actually have the time to do this, but I will try, because it might turn out to be a great destress during my month of examinations. This also explains why I’m hiding my story here.
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The thing about having me all to myself is that I don’t have to share.
The gladness I felt first, was the freedom I had, to not have to account my actions, moods or mistakes to anyone. It was important to me as I’ve been feeling stifled in my life, by all those who loved me. I don’t mean to sound unappreciative, but at the same time I do prefer having some space of my own. I don’t have to share my time, thoughts and reasons with someone all the time. And although this sounds awfully selfish, I’m honestly selfish.
The thing about having me all to myself is that I can’t seem to share, even if I wanted to.
There’s no one I can call for no reason at all, other than to hear his or her voice, or to complain whimsically about something ridiculous. There’s no one I could whine to because I’m feeling lousy or having a bad day, or tell excitedly something good that happened. There’s no you in my life whom I can be totally utterly honest with, with almost no fear of being rejected. Even though there are people who love and care for me, family and friends, I’m still very much alone.
The thing about having me all to myself is that I have to be independent. I have to stand on my own two feet, to think for myself, to love myself, to forgive myself, to be there for myself. It sounds easy, but believe me when I say it isn’t, and that it may take me a lifetime to do so.
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Tags: alone, care, family, forgive, freedom, friends, independent, lifetime, love, selfish, share, space, stand, think
funeral wake
Yesterday I attended a funeral wake. My friend’s grandmother had just passed away.
A wake brings people together. relatives and friends of the family come to pay their respects. It brings out the concern for each other, other than relatives and friends, churches and grassroot volunteers also offer money and help to the grieving family. It helps us cherish the people around us, because by losing someone we learn to appreciate the ones who are still around us.
When someone leaves, more is being brought back together than before. It is almost like the last good thing a person can do for those around him or her.
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Tags: appreciate, cherish, funeral, wake
